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February 16, 2010 / Brandon Raper

World of Warcraft GM Locked Outside

February 15th, 5 p.m. World of Warcraft tickets begin piling up at the speed of light.  Caligula got his account hacked and all his gold stolen.  Shamwow had a Nighttime Axe ninja’d right from under his feet.  What’s this?  Oprahwindfury is having trouble prospecting; server lag is keeping him from getting his oh so lovely rare gems and titanium ore dust.  OH THE HUMANITY.

Where are those fantastically helpful GM’s at in this Warcraft crisis?  It seems like a good amount of the GM population has been locked outside.  How hard is it to install a doggy door?  Your local Lowe’s or hardware store should have all the materials needed to keep these dogs doing their jobs while being able to take a bio break outside in their own time.

WoW’s number 1 GM has been spotty lately.  Snuggles has been disconnecting repeatedly and blaming it on Comcast, but what’s the underlying story.  According to CNN, Snuggles has been having bladder problems, relieving himself on the family’s favorite rug, hardwood floors, and just last week…the owners bed.  Blizzard rejects any comments on their all-star GM’s problems.

Players are growing restless.  Thousands of idiots are falling for fake Blizzard emails and gold sites and losing their accounts.  Who can save these people, their gold, their mounts, their lives?  We need to rise up and lay a lending hand to Snuggles. Let’s come together and build a doggy door so our tickets won’t sit in a queue for 7 hours.  Come together everyone.  Instead of buying that stack of stoneblood flasks, why don’t we all chip in to purchase all the Blizzard GM’s doggy doors?  Maybe even some doggy Snuggies.  After all, they’re here to help us out, it’s not their fault those  paws aren’t great for typing.

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Leave a Comment
  1. Frostate / Feb 16 2010 5:55 AM

    Poor cryligula

  2. Frokostordning / Mar 10 2010 3:36 AM

    Hmm that’s amazing but honestly i have a hard time figuring it… I’m wondering what others have to say….

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